Bus etiquette

Similar to urinals in a dude’s bathroom, there are just some unwritten rules of public transportation.

Scenario: You are sitting on what would be classified as an “empty” bus. After approaching another stop, a few new riders get on.

What should happen” Typically on a bus as empty as this one, the new riders will find their own pair of seats(each row has 2 seats on each side), and sit down.

 What actually happened: Random dude(with a huge backpack) sits right beside me.

 What made this moment even more uncomfortable and very memorable: This random dude had the most insane man-boobs i’ve ever encountered. I couldn’t help but to stare and be disturbed by theses manly boobs. What made matters worse was that it’s Gainesville, Fl in the summer time(i.e. very hot), and his boobs were sweating up a storm.

 Lesson of the story: Never break the unwritten rules of public transportation. Because if you do, and you have man boobs(or something equally as odd or funny about you), then the person you violate will secretly be laughing(and blogging) about you.

My (never-ending) Quest for Clementines

Fact: I spent basically all of my childhood living in
Florida.

Fact: Floridians LOVE citrus fruit in the same manner than angry Southern hicks love whiskey.

Conclusion: I love citrus fruit, and am in need of it all the time.

 

I’m not too picky on what it is, but orange citrus fruit holds a special place in my heart. I typically keep it real with Oranges.

 

Here’s a little secret: My favorite oranges, and Naval Oranges from
California, but let’s keep that on the DL.

 

Recently I’ve had a craving for Clementines, and unfortunately my last three attempts have been terribly unsuccessful.

 

This past Saturday, I went to Kroger to buy some clementines, and they were out. So I decided to settle with tangerines.

 

Come Monday, I am pleased with the tangerines, but still want clementines. So I head back to Kroger, and as I enter the produce section I spot 2 units of clementines left. Unfortunately these don’t look or feel like good/satisfying clementines, so I passed up my opportunity of buying shitty citrus fruit.

 

It is now Wednesday, and I haven’t had any clementines yet, so I head back to Kroger yet again(I’m a faithful customer). Surprise, Surprise, no clementines. I disappointingly pick 4 fresh and good looking naval oranges and leave.

 

I know I look a little desperate, needy, pathetic on this failed quest; but that is just how determined I am. Most people in my situation would be sad, but I’m not.  Because I know that when the day comes that I get my clementines, it will be a sweet long awaited victory for me.

CreepFest 07

Easter weekend = everyone goes home. And by everyone, I mean 95% of my friends.

 Jon Culver(who I will always refer to by his full name) was the first person I had social contact with between Friday afternoon and Saturday evening. Most would think that’s depressing, maybe it is. So, it’s Easter Eve(if there is such thing), what else is there to do other tahn dye eggs? A quick trip to Krogger we were in buisness. Only thing missing from the operation: Jvo(the token creepy guy).

What are three lonely people supposed to do on a dead Saturday night after egg dying? Go to Buffalo’s of course, to meet our (almost) 26yr old friend, and a few others.

The bar was filled with out-of-towners. Most of which were from Wisocnsin and Minesota. I never get a good vibe around Midwesteners, I don’t know why, but that’s how it works out.

Highlights of the night’s festivities:

-Jvo’s vagina and landscape eggs

-Watching inappropriate television

-Jon Culver’s retarded egg

-”Speciality Beer” that was drank by others(I still have 2 more weeks until I can resume)

-Yelling “War Eagle” to people who have no idea wtf a “War Eagle” truly means

-The night being renamed “CreepFest 07″…and Yes, there is an egg for that as well